EN · Journey of Love · Life Lesson

Aku belajar perihal cinta

People say, sincere love takes sacrifice. At first I thought the meaning of sacrifice is only limited to time, money, materials, and such other things. All of which included in the list are very easy to do. If people say, “it is difficult to sacrifice time because we are busy people”, but there will always be a time to give to someone you love. “Sacrificing money is not easy for us who cannot afford”, but there will always be money set aside for someone you love. And giving present will be easy when it comes to your someone special’s birthday, you will always have the time and money to find and buy gift for someone you love. You will always make an effort to give something special to your someone special. But there is one thing that is included in the category of the greatest sacrifice for love, the greatest difficult thing to do for people in general: heart.

I just learned about it. Put my fragile heart on the altar of sacrifice.

When people say “unconditional love” or “true love” or “pure love” is when we are giving our partner a freedom to support what they want or need even though what they want or need is the last thing we can accept. And if that hurt us, that is become our parts, to deal with the pain and forgive our partners. I sacrifice what I want, what I need for the best interest of my partner. Not many people choose to love when they are hurt. They choose to withdraw from the person who hurt them and choose to hate them and not giving them a second chance. Is that really we call it true love? When we are in a relationship and things are working well, we can easily say to our partner, “you are my only love, my true love”. But how about when the relationship is shaken by many complicated things, and the relationship is threatened to end. We cannot see, we cannot feel clearly the love once grow when things are going so well. If we don’t focus on love, if we just forget that there always a good side, a good thing in someone, love will easily fade.

I encountered a relationship where nobody wants to be in it over some years. At first, it was beautiful, even though it was already hard and complicated. And months, and years went by, our position was not getting better. One after another despair attacked us, and it attacked our emotions, our relationship. I am a very emotional person, and I seldom can control my emotion. My emotion speaks louder than my rational, even though there is a battle within, but still, my emotion always win. I always learn how to control it, but I often got confused, so I fail when I’m in between. But thank God, there’s a good thing that I’m emotional. Because it enables me to love endlessly. Focus on love, even though my humanity tells me that I just want to hate those who hurt me.

But do you realize that when you hate people, it’s actually hurt your heart even more? You dig your own pain. You deepened the wound.

People are in wounds when someone they love the most hurt them. But it will be more hurt when you are trying to hate those who hurt you rather than if you make decision to love them.

There was one day around last week, when I cried and tell my heart, “I hate him”, over and over again. But then at the same time I felt my chest was hurt, like a real physical pain. Why it hurt more? Because it felt so wrong. The truth is that I love him, while hating him is too wrong. But he deeply hurt me. So I must choose. We cannot love a person, but at the same time we hate the person. So I chose to love. I stayed focus on the good things in him. And believe me, when you remember all the good things in someone, especially in someone that hurt you, love grows, love wins. Imagine when a sunflower meets a sunshine, that is how the love inside your heart beats hatred and darkness.

I believe, and everybody knows, that God is love. If we are a Christian, and we want to be like Him, why must hate? Why not choose to love? God always sees the good in us. We have many flaws, many mistakes, and we sinned over and over again, but God still love us. Why is that? Because God believes in us, He always believe in us. If we want to be like Him, why we don’t make an effort to act like Him, starting with love without exclusion: the ones that is very easy to love AND the ones that is very difficult to love.

Love wins when it shines and rule out darkness (hatred is darkness).

Learn to love, not only in a good condition, but also in your worst. It’s heavy, but it can be done..


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