Cloudy day

Today the sun doesn’t shine above my head,  the moon doesn’t smile at me, and the night feels so silent.

I was hungry, but I cannot cook because there was a problem with the gas hose. So no gas flowing into the stove. The gas man promised me to come in the morning, but after 3 hours waiting, he never come. So I ate unhealthy meal, there was no choice: instant noodle cooked by microwave. I planned to cook something, but my plan was failed.

I waited one hour for the bus that will send me to the LRT station. I counted the time, I supposed to reach on time, which is about 1.5 hours to reach my campus. In the end, I wasted one hour for nothing, and it turned out I must walk to the station. It was a very long and painful walk from the bus stop behind my apartment to the station. 2o minutes I walked fast, I got scars on both of my feet because of the slippers I wore.

I reached campus and I found out that the class had started. The lecturer wasn’t there when I came. Few minutes later, she came and noticed me. I didn’t come for last week class, and she noticed that I’m new. So she started to asking me questions. I became the class’ attention. She told me to join with one group sitting at behind. The group members were so talkative and fun, I was so shy. We were on a group discussion about one case regarding the business ethics. Suddenly the lecturer cut the discussion and ask all of us to answer the case’s questions. She said, “give the new girl a chance to answer”. I was so surprised and also I feel so shy. I just didn’t know how to open my mouth, even though I had the answer through the discussion. I talked with stammer, and one of the group member said, “it’s okay, slowly”, because I was so nervous. I didn’t confident enough to talk in front of new people, and I also still got into shock because I was panicked.

After the class was over, I was gonna go to meet my friend. I took a bus where I did not so sure whether the bus is going to pass the place I was gonna heading. I asked the driver, but all he did is pointing to somewhere else behind my back, and I just couldn’t get the message his going to tell me. I walked out from the bus, and tried to look for something he was trying to say.  Finally, I found out he was pointing to the windscreen, and there was a small note attached there stated that the bus is going to pass the place I was going to headed. So I get on the bus again, and sit. Luckily, the bus was still there, waiting for passengers. Couldn’t he just open his mouth and answer my question? I think it would be easier.

I sat on the bus, and all I wanted is just share with someone, but I realized that I didn’t know where to share anymore, and I cried. Well, they might seemed simple, but I used to share those uncomfortable events to someone, but I couldn’t anymore, and that was make me feel emotionally imprisoned.

So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for few seconds, and I prayed. “Maybe God wanted to test my patience”, I convinced myself.

But after all of these, we still need to thank God for everything, isn’t it? So.. Thank you God for the cloudy day..

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Author: Irene A.K.A Irin

I am just an ordinary girl who lives in the extraordinary world.. I'm not used with the talking thingy, so I'd prefer to write all my thoughts and my feelings.. I dream a lot, I imagine a lot.. I love to sing, I love to dance, and I love to smile.. It's not a perfect world, but imagination has brought me to enjoy the perfect world.. Know me well from my writings, not my talking.. I speak through fingers, not mouth.. And the most important thing is, the truth that I am my Big Daddy's daughter.. "I am broken and lost, but by God's grace, I have found"

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