It’s that dream again. The dream that I haven’t dreamed for quite a long time. The dream that makes me awake in the middle of the night. The dream that turns my morning into a blue shining sunshine. The dream that drags me again to him. Well, the dream was considered as a nightmare for me. There were few nights when I woke up in tears, and there were another nights I woke up with anxiety. Yes. I did dreaming about it a few times. And I don’t know why I kept dreaming about him and having similar dreams over and over again.
— It was a normal day. I was doing my usual activities. Meeting with some of my close friends. I talked, I laughed, at a comfy cafe around the area. Came back home with a happy feeling. Just like how I would spend my leisure time, and just like how I would feel after I spend my leisure time. And then everything just changed. Accidentally met him (or heard about him from someone > in my another dreams). I was almost forgotten about him, even in my real life, when I am not dreaming. But he was not alone. He was with someone, someone I (always) knew. I had brought the feeling of getting heart-broken into my dream, over and over again. And just like that, I cried in my dream, and I woke up. —
The sudden wake up made me thinking, what is really going on. Does it mean that I should really throw away my hopes towards him? Does it mean that what will happen in the future is totally the opposite of my dream? Or does it exactly the story would be? Does it mean that he is thinking about me? Does it mean that I should contact him and ask whether everything is going okay with him? Does he is in trouble and need something from me? I heard that dream is the reflection of someone’s thoughts. But every time I got to dream about him, I never thinking about him. Which is, this really stressed me out. But others might also say that dream is the sign of something. Which is, also stressed me out, finding the meaning of the dream I got. Most of the time in the past, my dreams had led me into some answers. And in another case, my dreams became true, so they were like some kind of signs.
I got upset a few times when this happen to me. Because every time it comes, I’m in the stage where I am moving on a few steps ahead and leave all the memories about him far away behind. But then, when it struck into me, slowly the memories dragging me down. And the wall I built to keep the pain away spontaneously got risen up as it aware that I can’t go through the same road. And .. gosh .. I turn to be an irritating person for the whole day (and thank God I realize this). So I kept myself off from the grid, preventing hurting anybody else, and prefer to be alone. But it’s so tiring, not knowing what is happening outside there, losing the idea of what should or shouldn’t do.
Well.. I hope this shall pass faster than it was before…
Unless.. Something really needs to be done.