Why do people tend to easily judge others?
I’m organizing my monthly data sheet for the coming audit, since there is nothing to do at work today. Literally, nothing. Seriously. And my “cubicle neighbor” is packing up his stuffs since today is his last day at work. He’s resigning from the company. I put earphones to both of my ears, listening to some music. But still, I can see him clearing up his cubicle from the corner of my eyes, as well as listen to the noise he makes while tidying up his table. Then suddenly it hit my mind all the moments me and him, as a partner, as my senior, had gone through. As I wrote on the previous posts about issues which involve both of us that finally made him decided to go on resignation, suddenly I recalled all the things he ever mentioned to me. All the things that he said which made me lost my confidence and at some point, I believed all the things he said rather than my own judgment about myself.
I came back to Indonesia from abroad in order to find the person I lost after the severe break up, not to impose myself even more. But somehow, God put me into another battle.
One thing I clearly remember is the statement he kept use against my emotional states: “you are so grumpy”. He felt that I rarely greet people. He even told me that there were rumors in the office that I am unfriendly. A new girl in the office whom rarely smile or even greet people, especially to the adjoining team. I reflected myself and questioning myself whether I am that ruthless, hard-faced kind of woman. And at some point, I believed that I am not a kind person. So I shut myself off.
My point of being vicious was to set a decisive boundary line, that I am not that kind of person who can everybody teased every single time. I might be very welcome and friendly to people, but I also want to set a limit in how far people could tease me and how big my tolerance is if the cross the limit. But certain people just don’t understand that kind of standard. They tend to judge and talk behind the back.
While I’m writing this, I keep thinking, do people really need to be grouped in terms of intelligence? Or is it that we all are actually equal as a social being who needs everybody from different backgrounds in order to survive? I often see when managers hang out with another managerial employees, and most of the time they don’t invite their subordinates to hang out with them. I often see smart people befriended with smart or even high-experienced individuals. And those who lives in the lower caste of socials, associate with those who think the same as them. And finally, everybody stuck. But only individuals who aware that they need to develop to reach a better life, they have certain thoughts to find a way to cross the line, to go out of their comfort zone. I reach into conclusion that high-level individuals just want to protect their species, without any system being disrupted by another group that they don’t belong to the pointed group. Humans also tend to underestimated people who they think stand bellow their level when they spot where they stand in one community.
Those things are what I observe from my surroundings. From what I see and understand, I learned not to behave as an irritating individual. I never meant to look down on people, but I just want to set my limit where other people could go into some area in my life, and where they cannot go. But then people with less experience thought that I am so arrogant. Yes, I am so hard to be approached, but in fact that I am so easy to be a friend, as long as someone respect and understand my boundaries I set. But there will always be some people who wouldn’t agree with the value you live in. There is a Yin and the Yang in one circle of life. When you are a white, you will always be faced with a black. And when you become black, you will always see some white people that live the opposite as what you live in.
I learned that it’s life.
I was so sensitive before and I was thinking that I couldn’t accept that. But I also learned that you don’t need to accept that, you just need to pass it, as you walk in a street, you are passing by a person you don’t know and you ignore them and walk away. Yes. That is how you need to live in this cruel and unfair society. To survive.
But never forget, that somewhere, someplace, there are always be people who wants you more than the community where you put in. And they are extremely kind and loving and understand you for who you are.
Ignorance is a bliss. Indeed it is.