Today is one of my ex’s birthday ~ happy birthday anyway – and I congratulated him. He was the one who had been spent the unforgettable 8 years with me, since high school till I entered college for the second time. I sent him a general and normal greetings through the chat apps on my phone. Funny thing was that I remembered his birthday since last night, and then when I woke up, but I greeted him in the afternoon. I delayed my intention to greet him as early as possible, since now he already has a girlfriend of his own.
Well, my relationship with him was really good, even after we broke up. We left each others’ lives peacefully, no resentment, or bitterness, or anger, or hatred. We were being best friend for couple of months after we broke up, even after he got a new girlfriend. We told stories to each other, we shared things even the private things that we once shared when we were together, we visited each others’ families, we sometimes went out together and had meals. I thought that our friendship would last for that long, until God-knows-when.
But the truth is not as I imagined.
I am, single, with no one to share to. Of course I need to. When I was lonely, at least I got him as my best friend to tell what I had in mind, or what I felt in heart. And he always be the one that could understand me, for sure, we were together for 8 years. Of course when we were being best friend, there were no love between us. I was still in love with my last ex, and of course he was in love with his girlfriend. It was a pure friendship-relationship, what we had.
This afternoon, when I greeted him birthday wishes, well, there was nothing much to say. Normally when we made a contact, we always had something to talk about. Like how things had been, and stories to tell. But there was no more like that. It was a really short one, like “thanks” and “how are you”, and then we made a full stop. I did want to talk about how things had been in his life since I saw his success stories about his business with his girlfriend. And I also needed someone to talk, about how I made some huge progress. We always talked such things.
I did feel sad, since for me, he was the best boyfriend ever, and also my best buddy ever. I lost him. Of course I would, but I did not imagine that it would be like this.
Well, after all, I knew I should give him and his girlfriend a huge space, their own room.
I had lost several people because another person had entered to their lives. Like new girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, kid/s. And as for me, who is still single, living outside my home, alone, is quite depressing when there are few friends only to relied to. Sometimes I pity myself, and some other times I enjoy being alone.
Well, I am still figuring out why God put me in such situation, with no one in the town could support me. But I see myself in the mirror, getting stronger and more mature.
Perhaps, God is trying to form me to be someone I could never imagine. And it’s big thing.
Goodbye my very very very best guy. Be happy for your life, I wish you a great success for the dream you always wanted, I wish you a wonderful future in each aspect of your life. And I am looking at your wedding invitation with her name craved on it =) God be with you always!