A day before I’m turning 28, I started my first day job at my hometown. Yes. I resigned from the job as a researcher in Jakarta, and decided to come back home. It was a difficult choice at first. There were so many ups and down, so many dilemmas during the journey of making decision. I just didn’t know what do I really want. I didn’t know what’s best for me. I just knew that on the day that it all processed, I just want to be out from my job.
Before I was sure that I wanted to resign from the job, I was looking for a new job. I just thought that the company I worked with didn’t compensate enough as they should be. But I wasn’t doing that in such a rush. It did not mean that I hate my job. I just wanted to find a better one, the one that could give me something more than just to undergo the same thing over and over again for ever.
I was thinking to go back to my hometown, working there, and make a life there. I knew that I couldn’t find a better job if I stay in my hometown. What other career in Bandung could compete with the progress as if you are working in Jakarta. So I had to make a choice if I want to go back to my hometown and leave my career progress in Jakarta or what can be sacrificed that is worth enough to walk out from the opportunity of having a better career. So I started to make a long list, thinking about it for a few months.
Until the day that it was coming, when the manager of my old company in Bandung contacted me, offering me a job. I gave her away my CV and she started to process my application. The job was not ready until the mid of the year. It’s okay. I was not in a rush anyway. I just needed a new workplace. Someday.
Out of nowhere, I got another offer at one of the biggest operator company in Indonesia, Indosat. The job was the one I wish to get for quite some time, as a Project Coordinator. I will be working along with the expatriates at Indosat. Such a challenge. So I was so sure to move along with the offer. And on the day I was supposed to attend the interview with Indosat, suddenly the job in Bandung gave me a confirmation that I was accepted there. I had not given them my answer straightaway, I asked them to give me some time to think because I actually wanted to see the situations with Indosat.
Everything become such a hurry.
Another thing was that my Supervisor offered me a promotion to be a Senior, handling the most important account of the company. This account contributes 50% of the company’s revenue. I knew what it meant, which are I can’t enjoy my life anymore. There will be a lot of overtime, working until late at night, a lot of heavy requests to handle, less sleeping, less exercising, less coming back to my hometown (even if I’m going back to Bandung, I would still open my computer and working from home), less hanging out with my friends. I told my Supervisor that I don’t want to have a life like that. But did I ever had other options? No. He trusted me with this, and he told me that I was the only one that is able to handle this kind of burden at work. I felt flattered, and honored at the same time. But on the other side, I also want to have a life. A quality one. The one where I can enjoy doing things I love.
See how things suddenly turned away so differently?
I attended the interview and it conducted in English. I could see them impressed with the way I answered all the questions. Perhaps because – from what I had heard – they had interviewed so many people who cannot speak English as it turned out that I was faced with the western-ish guy. I was told that he is the boss. Did an interview with the Human Resource as well after I finished with the user, and found out that they cannot give me direct decision after they had done with me that day. They said they need some time, either to compare me with other candidates, or if there will be any delays along the process. But I have to give an answer within the same day to Bandung. After A brief discussion with Ma, as well as some of my most trusted friends, I decided to accept Bandung’s offer. It then became my escape plan.
So on the same night, I gave Bandung my confirmation to join them, and I told my Supervisor that I was going to leave afterwards. He was just as surprised as anybody would be. We talked, and we discussed. I did tell him that the main reason that cause me to decide I am leaving is because I wanted to be near with Ma, after three years of separation. It was indeed my main reason. I did think about it a thousand times. I did think it clearly. And I did wish to come back to my hometown. I thought about how Ma is being alone for the whole three years as I was living in Malaysia and Jakarta for those past years. And when my Supervisor convinced me to stay and kept telling me that I am going to be promoted for the coming month, I kept telling him that I was so sure family should comes first. And finally he let me go.
By writing this, I would like to share with you readers, that God does listen to our wishes and prayers. I would share with you about how the next progress about my former Jakarta job as a researcher, Bandung job, and Indosat offer in another post. While here, I just want to share with you my turning point.
I was so rebellious before, I did not pray for quite some time as I was too disappointed with so many things in my life. But God still showed me His grace. He remains faithful to me, and never gave up on me. He still remember to bless me. He promised to fulfill my prayers, and He did though that time I was so distance. But He still kept His promises. He does love me. It never came through to my mind that I would be receiving such many blessings in one time as I did: three interesting job offers at the same time. And God wanted me to choose wisely. He did not decide for me, but He left all the choices to me. And I did not turn up to be angry, but I turned up to be depending on Him, because I don’t want to make a false decision.
There was once said that it is okay if you take some time apart from God once in a while. But it does not mean that you lose your faith in God. But just a step away from God. Not to loosen up your bond, but to reflect on yourself. Find yourself again after those stressful environment you are in right now. And when you find your way back, you would find yourself in your greatest strength to believe in Him even more.
And that’s what you called “a leap of faith”.