June 23rd fell on Tuesday, I had my birthday coming. Unfortunately, I was too sick to get up, and I ended up laying on the bed. I was sleeping for the whole day that day. Nothing was too special that day. Ma gave me a simple birthday cake. The one that I love from Sweetheart. And after I blew off the “23” candle which lighted on the top of the cake early in the morning, I was back to sleep, hoping that I could get better in the evening as I planned to go for a dinner. But it turned out that I was still too weak to enjoy my birthday. However, I still wanted to go somewhere, at least to be with the wind, celebrating my birthday.

I was not expecting anything from anyone, especially to get birthday greetings from my friends. Then I found out that my closest friends kinda forgot to greet me, as well as Da. Supposed to be sad thing, isn’t it? But I was grateful enough that I got a lot of greetings from people I less expecting to. There was no birthday dinner that day, as I had to send Ma to meet up with her friends for a small reunion dinner. But I went out anyway, to keep my stamina up, preparing to get back to work on the next day. Of course I have to be in for work on the 24th. So I went to visit Gold’s Gym while waiting Ma to finish, did a little survey on their facilities, and then picked up Ma to get back to home. Nothing so special. But I am grateful. So grateful because this year, I realize God gave me so many blessings.

As I mentioned in the post earlier, that I got an offer to work in Indosat as a Project Coordinator. The process went so fast at first. But then, it turned out to be a really slow process. I thought that they will confirm to me before I was going to join a job in Bandung. Somehow, God did not allow it to happen. After a week I joined the job in Bandung, I was confirmed that I get in. On the going process, I met with all the four users two times (and one of them was expatriate), interviewed by the HRD one time, and then get contacted by the email for the following formal procedures (psychology test and medical test). I was so confused by then because I already on my comfort zone in Bandung. I have friends, I have Ma by my side, I have a home, a house, I have life after work, I can enjoy a fresh air in the morning, less traffic than Jakarta. I did cry for a few times, telling God that I was so afraid to leave my current life although I just spent one week here. I was actually going to reject Indosat since they offer me a one year contract position. Some people told me that a contract will not get any non-cash benefits. But they were wrong, I was wrong. It turned up that they gave me everything I have ever considered about: a salary more than I expected plus a full non-cash benefits, and phone credit as an add-on. I knew that I have to take this job. I would be stupid enough if I don’t accept their offer.

I saw that God has blessed me enough with this kind of opportunity. I got what I want in my career life. When I wished to go back to Bandung before Indosat being processed, God gave me that. When I was so concern about my earnings, God gave me the opportunity of getting a promotion AND Indosat which lead to a much higher earnings and better career ahead. And even though I had made my mind to resign from the former company, some of the Head of Departments still convinced me to stay during our personal farewell meals, and persuaded me to take that promotion offer. I did not know that I am that worth. But God showed me that I am worth fighting for.

Today as I looked back for the past one year, so many painful thing happened. I did randomly questioned myself, or even God, why haven’t I got a boyfriend or why do I feel lonely most of the time. But maybe, God is actually preparing me to get ready for getting a tougher road. I knew I still have some issues with Da. And that was the only thing I haven’t handling it very well. I realize during those silent moments, lonely days, I was formed to be someone that is never mind to go anywhere by myself. Perhaps I could be feeling so sad when I have no friends to go. Maybe it because I was not at home. But when I am home, at my hometown, I found myself becoming so much more independent as I was, open my mind a lot bigger than I was. I could see things in a much more objective way. I learn a lot of things and take notes to some things that I should or should not do one day if I am positioned as I was seeing.

If God gave me what I want for a career, I believe He will also blesses me with a best guy as a husband.

I see that a lesson is more valuable to get other than the wealth we get. Because from there, we could have the chance to fix our lives. We cannot change past, but we can decide how our future would be.

I am 28 year old now. But I have a life full of color, painted by happy, sad, and painful experiences.


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