As she came approaching me while I was sitting at my working table, she asked me: “what are you doing this hour?”. I replied her: “just pouring some of my design ideas to this game”.
I have one most favorite game of all time, where I can imagine how my life would be if things are going so well, if there is “perfection” in this world. I have built my “life” inside of it.
“Are you creating your dream house?”, asked her. And I nodded as my focus was on the screen all the time.
While I was staring on the screen for some few hours until late night, her voice kept ringing in my mind. So I started to ask myself the same question. “What do I seek from here?”.
I had a dream to be an interior designer back there. While Da never approved my – so called – “fantasy” dream, I had no choice rather to attend any major in business school. Took two minors of Hospitality and Entrepreneurship, I realized that that dream, was never intended to be just a short-term wish. But it has become my passion, until today (just the one that never get to be true yet :p). I release my desire, ideas, and imagination into building a life in a form of 3D game. There was a time when I would feel so satisfy of what I created, and there was some other time when I would feel I should reset this and start from the beginning again. It has gone through the same circle throughout the so many years.
But the fact is that is not only about to wreak my deepest desire of being a designer, but also the kind of life I wanna have. What kind of start I wish to have, and what kind of end I would be having when I can control my beginning.
Once upon a time, I had nicknamed myself as “The Dreamer”, because my mind was full of imagination and crazy adventures. The best of me was born from that part of my life. There was one point, I wouldn’t know whether that is a reality or a dream, because too many things I hid behind that wall, the one which was separate the real world and the fantasy world. I woke up at the moment when my world was shattered because of the severe broken heart 3 years ago.
Until today, I still imagine if myself would be another person rather than me, because it would be easier to get things I wish to have.
But then another question popped up, if life is such a perfection, would we still be alive?
PS: the game is called “The Sims” 😉