I was wondering why I feel like always being at the lowest point of my life when Easter is approaching. I feel like the moment is just right, for me to shed so many tears, and I can feel the greatest pain when we are in an Easter’s atmosphere. There are so many seasons in our lives, and every year would be a different season for each of us to experience what life could offer. And in that particular season, there will always be the downside, and we are at our lowest. For me, the time would be every time Easter is approaching.
For so many years, the pain kept coming in Easter season.
I asked God as how I asked God for the last few weeks, during my morning run earlier this morning, “why do I feel the pain every time it is Easter time?”.
I never thought the answer would be so close, would be this fast. I seek, and I received what I’ve been looking for.
“Have you ever understood My kind of love for you?”, He asked softly.
“No, God. I never understand Your kind of love”, I replied back by talking inside. I knew that God loves us. So much. Ok. I get that. I get that God loves us so much. But it’s just to the limit of my own knowledge, not to understand or even feel His kind of love.
I never understand how much He loves us until He is willing to give His life for all of us, even to those who don’t know who He is at all.
As humans, we are willing to sacrifice for our closest people. We choose whom we are going to give our all to. But God, He does not. He doesn’t choose our background, or our relationship with Him – whether we are close or not to Him, or our appearances. He loves His children.
“I have to break you, so you would understand how much I want you to lean on Me at your darkest hours, your loneliest nights, and your painful walks”, said He. We tend to seek for people’s helps or supports when we are going through something terrible. Instead of talking to God, we go to people and seek their ears so they can listen to our stories, or asking their advice. But God just want us, His children, to have an intimate relationship with Him. He wants us to talk with Him first, because He is the most understandable Entity of the entire world.
Even though we had found someone who can listens to us and understands us, but no .. God is way more beyond that. I don’t even find words to describe how much He understands what we are going through, and how much He can really feel what we feel.
He wants us to experience His love. He wants me to experience His love in person.
“Do you understand how much I love you, and I don’t want you to be in the place where I don’t want you to be? And if you are broken and shattered, and if you are ever feel so lost and hopeless, know that My love will never leave you. I will always be here”, I can feel it was Him that talking to me such beautiful words. “I never stop watching you, I never stop listen to you”, said He.
I lost love – but I found love in God.
I was dragged, fell, and lost my way – but I found a way back with God.
I was shattered – but His love healed me
That much He loves me. And you. And all of us. He never gives up to reach out to us. And for the first time in my life, I literally UNDERSTAND how big His love really is.
Easter would be the best moment for us to reflect on His unconditional love. It was never His intention to allow me experiencing several huge problems when Easter is approaching for the past few years. I never understand it before, but it is the best moment to understand His love: that nobody can escape from His love, not even me.
Well, I think I missed moment to reflect on His love for so many years. But I am grateful that this year, I get the chance to be filled with His love, no matter what I am going through.
And I should really thank my brother to give me this beautiful song, I couldn’t find anything else that can express the love that He fills in me other than to sing this beautiful song.
I Love You Lord / Passion – by Hillsong Young and Free
I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship You
Oh my soul, rejoice, take joy my King in what You hear
And let it be a sweet sound in Your ear
All I have is Yours, take my life Jesus
Let my heart sing, how I love You Lord, how I need You Lord
I love You, You are my everything
I love You, in my life take who I am
I love You hear my heart sing
I love You, Lord, I love You
You’re brighter than the sun
Risen from the shadows
Seated on the throne of majesty
Higher than the skies and all we see
No matter what you are going through, reflect on His love. And be fulfilled with His love, because it is the only thing that can satisfy you 🙂