I took some time to ask myself about why do I dwell in our memories lately. I had moved on. I knew I had. I had accepted the fact that we have to go separate ways from the plans we once had put on the top of that table.
You see, the thing about moving on is not about me forgetting you, but it is about me who took the courage to erase your presence from anything that could bring out the turmoil back to the surface.
I preferred to be occupied with the pile of paperwork at work, while I can’t keep my thoughts off of you when I was sitting in front of my laptop.
I wonder why. That’s why I took some time to ask myself.
And then there was that moment, an unexpected one .. where I got inside a lift for an early lunch appointment and it stopped in front of you that was standing firm with your best friend. You. Going for a lunch at an early hour. Always.
I was surprised, so were you. I was surprised, because I did not expect that I could bump into you this close. I thought that mother nature conspires to detach our awareness from each other.
But this was what so hurt so much: that even though we were standing side by side to each other, not a single word was spoken. We were strangers to the world.
As I stepped out the lift, I could not hold myself to run to the restroom before I meet my lunch appointment. To cry.
“Why was it so hurt, to see you eye to eye once more?”.
I knew I had missed you. I miss your presence during the nights, the midnight conversations, your smile during the daylight to enlighten my day, and all those small little talks. I miss you so much..
“Because you loved him so much, and perhaps you still are”, she said as she was the only one whom I told that I bumped into you.
I did not realize before, that I did, and perhaps I still do..
.. love you.
Because love does not need a reason to stay. It just happened.