I’ve got myself a stength to greet you when you was standing 0.5 meters in front of me, while you were not realizing my presence.
You always never be aware of my presence, but i always know you were there – as far as my eyes could see your appearance.
The book i had written about you, had completely done. I had printed it out as a booklet last weekend. I had my ups and downs during the days (or weeks, or months) of writing those detailed stories. Writing about you, about us, hurting me (will write on the details in the next post). But i knew it was my healing process. And after i finished everything, those writings really healed me.
Because today, when i bumped into you, i could say your name while i greeted you.
I was alone, walked through the aisle of the canteen. Looked around, and found out that your friends were there. One of them spotted me. But i didn’t understand why he didn’t smile at me though he saw me.
Then you came along. I can tell it was you even i saw you from your behind.
Because i knew, and realized, that i had loved you.
I guess it is one of the most beautiful thing about love that you can tell it is the man you love from his voice, his back, his way of walk, to his breath as well.
As you stood in front of me, not knowing that i was there, i greeted you: “Hey, Mr.J!”, said i tried to be as friendly as possible. But did it come from the heart? Or was i faking? I guess it was, purely coming from the heart.
Because i had loved you, and perhaps i still do.
Love doesn’t need to be a form of having you by my side. Love just need to be embraced even though you are so far away.
I thank God for giving me so much love for you. Even though we are no longer “us” 🙂